Tears that cannot cry - Continuation of Clannad After Story
by Mtzk
Summary: This a continuation of Clannad After Story. (SPOLIER ALERT!) In the anime, Ushio and Nagisa died but got revived due to the orbs of light and it was a happy ending. But in this story, Nagisa and Ushio have already died. I will write in the first person of Tomoya Okazaki from the point where he lied down on the snowy ground, holding Ushio in his arms.
This a continuation of Clannad After Story.

(SPOLIER ALERT!) In the anime, Ushio and Nagisa died but got revived due to the orbs of light and it was a happy ending. But in this story, Nagisa and Ushio have already died. I will write in the first person of Tomoya Okazaki from the point where he lied down on the snowy ground, holding Ushio in his arms.

I put my hand on Ushio and tried to feel her pulse. Where is it? …. I can't feel it. It couldn't be! "Nagisa! Nagisa!" I cried. Please, Nagisa, save Ushio. Please. Tears rolled down my cheeks and I fell down, Ushio in my arms.

It was a long pause. I looked at Ushio once again. She was still, like a stone statue, but there was a smile on her face. My tears welled up again when I heard her saying 'I love you, papa'. Why? Why is this happening? What did I do to deserve this?! Stop it! Nagisa, Ushio, don't leave. If you have to leave, bring me with you! Don't leave me alone! Snow fell and I could hear a faint melody. 'Dango, dango, dango, dango, dango daikazoku….'

I opened my eyes and looked around. I was in my room, on my bed. Sanae-san and the old man were sitting beside me. They seemed to be crying. Suddenly, I remembered. Ushio…. Ushio is not here anymore. Tears fell and I sobbed. It felt like my heart broke into pieces. "Tomoya, don't cry," Sanae-san comforted me but I could sense a sadness in her words. Akio couldn't even look at me, he was crying a lot.

Depression. Sadness. Despair. That was all I could think about without Ushio. I want to die and be together with her. I want to be with Nagisa and see her smile once again. I want Nagisa to sing the dango daikazoku song again to Ushio and me.

I got up and walked to the refrigerator. Bam! Akio pushed me to the wall. "Don't you dare think about drinking! It'll just make you feel worse!" he yelled. I glared at him but he was just saying the truth. "Sorry," I whispered. It hurts. It really hurts. I feel so sad, I can't help but cry. "I'm sorry, Tomoya," Akio said, crying heavily. I cried in his shoulder. Sanae-san was the only one calm. Of course, it was obvious that she was sad, over her daughter's death and her granddaughter's death.

Lots of days passed. Sanae-san and Akio didn't visit anymore. They'll probably be hurting a lot too. I got back on cigarettes and everyday was dull and boring, just like how it used to be before I met Nagisa.

Knock, knock, knock. I opened the door and looked up. I saw familiar faces. There were 3 faces, no, 4, no, 5. Sunohara, Kyou, Ryou, Tomoyo and Kotomi from my high school. They were smiling but I could see that they heard the news. "We heard about that. So, we're here to cheer you up," Tomoya said, smiling, like she always used to. "Sorry, Tomoya-kun, we couldn't visit you much. I was in America and the others were busy on their own," Kotomi apologized. Kyou suddenly hugged me and cried. Since she was Ushio's teacher, of course, it would hurt a lot too. "Onee-san, Tomoya-kun," Ryou added and she began crying too. I couldn't help my tears, they were running without my control. Sunohara, Tomoyo and Kotomi looked sad too.

The whole surrounding was filled with tears. "Oi, let's go inside," Sunohara said and Kyou finally let go. "Sorry," she said. "The kids at my class are sad, too. We went to the funeral together. Ryou and Sunohara did too. Kotomi just arrived today and Tomoyo was busy with her work." "Tomoya, don't cry," Tomoyo comforted me and offered me a tissue.

After a while, I stopped and regained my consciousness. I had been drifting out for five days already.

"Okazaki, long time no see," Sunohara said with a smile. I smiled back faintly. "You dyed back your hair to blonde. I talked about you with ….Ushio. And I talked about all of you, too." "Onee-chan told me about Ushio being her student. On my weekday off I went to that kindergarten to meet you at the sports festival. But you weren't there," Ryou said. I smiled. Ryou was still her shy, cute self. "I heard you're working as a nurse, is it?" She nodded and smiled. "Tomoya, guess what I'm doing right now?" Tomoya asked me to guess. "Hmm… are you a leader or something at some kinda place?" I said. "That's too vague. I'm the leader of a natural center. We stop the people who're trying to cut down trees and such," she replied. It felt nostalgic. It was as if the whole gang was back together, except that Nagisa was not there.

We started sharing our memories and stories. I was still sad but this meeting helped me lift up my spirits. Soon, they left and I started feeling better.

I put a picture of Ushio and me next to Nagisa's picture. I went back to work again and our gang met frequently. I guess everything will be okay. Because no matter how many hardships I face, I'll think about you two and everything will be fine.

-The End –

(Note: I felt really sad, writing this. I'm sorry if this didn't meet your expectations but I tried my best. Please write some reviews and like it. Thank you!)


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